Okay, this is going to sound a bit morbid, but I know all of my friends who also have anxiety disorders will likely know what I’m talking about: Do you ever feel you might die before something really amazing happens?
This has been me for a couple weeks now.
I thought this in the days leading up to marrying Bear. Surely I won’t actually be able to marry this man. It’s too good to be true. I’m probably going to die before the wedding.
False alarm! I was alive and well on October 5th, 2011, and we’ve even been gifted with four years of being alive and sharing that together since.
And today, I am here wondering if I’ll actually be able to go to Peru. I mean, this can’t possibly be real. Who am I to be able to live out my dreams and love on children while living on foreign soil? This might not happen. Maybe God will take me before our flights are scheduled to leave. Right? That’s totally a possibility.
But it was so good to hear my spiritual mother say to me the other day:
“You are not going to die. You are going to Peru, and it’s going to be wonderful.”
Okay! So maybe we are! I mean, we are! We are going to Peru. This is happening.
29 days, people. Still learning and growing in the meantime, but 29 days. Seriously.